Saying “I love you”

I would like to share this song for everyone! Although it’s old, it’s still a very good song. Dedicated to ALL MOTHERS out there including, my old lady. 😀

Singer: Niam Pov Fwm Yej Yaaj
Song: Muaj Niam Zoo Tshaj – DL link.

Today, i attended this banquet with my mom. I didn’t really understand what the banquet was about until we arrived there. Apparently, it’s a banquet or a night for Mother, Daughter, and Daughter-In-Law. It was a banquet to understand one another and they had a guest speaker from California come to speak about “the relationships between Mother, Daughter, and Daughter-in-law” who was a very well known woman amongst church people.

We arrived at 4pm and met up with some cousins of ours along with their daughters. The “mother” set at their own table while we “daughters” sat at another, well beside them, of course.

The MC came and introduced herself along with her helpers and everyone that came to the event. We got picked on since we didn’t stand up when our mothers got called. She asked, “What church or city are you all from?” We all looked over at our mothers and said that we were with them instead. And she said, “why didn’t you stand up?” We just smiled. She continued with her introduction and than two ladies came up to sing a solo song. They both had a very beautiful voice especially when they sung in “Hmoob Leeg” [Green Hmong Dialect]. They all sang something regarding to “mother.” Whether it’s the motherly love to getting marry and leaving mother behind. It was a very touching ceremony. Although i did wish that there were stories from the audience how their mother, daughter changed their life. Now that woudl totally get me teary. To share something special and actually having the mother or daughter hear it, it would be very touching! I just realized that Christian songs are very deep and so meaningful! It really touches the soul. Each song made me think of my old lady. 😀 Plus their voice is very soothing, especially when they have the Hmong leeg accent, making it more touching and joyful to listen too.

They even played games with the audience. First game was, “How much do you know?” Where the mother and daughter answered questions pertaining to them, like, “What is your mother’s favorite color?” The mother and daughter/daughter in law will have to write it down, whoever gets the most points, wins the prize. Wheh, luckily i didn’t get picked because i would have sucked at this game! the only thing i would have gotten out of the questions they asked was, “What is your mother’s birthday?” ”

Anyways, back to my subject, one of the singer at the banquet shared one of her story about her mother. How one should really cherish their mother because when you really want to do something for your mother, it’s too late. She told us that one night when her mother came over to visit her, she began to have this feeling of missing, wanting to say, “i love you, Mother.” Because there were many people around along with her father and Husband, it was hard for her to express her feelings towards her mother. Now, do keep in mind, it is quite hard for a hmong child to express their love towards their parents because we don’t have that kinship with our parents when we were small. So we’re a little distance from our parents. Especially me, growing up. I practically did everything by myself. Went to school concerts by myself, 5th grade graduation, like everything by myself. My parents were either at work or stuck at home with my brothers, since they were younger, so i dont’ have that attachment towards my parents. You can say i’m a little distant from them, but i still love them dearly. Anyways, back to the story, so that night when her mother was about to leave, she called out to her mother wanting to say those three words, but instead she said, “You come back and visit us again, Mother!” Her mother walked out of the door almost opening the front gate to go to the car, when she called out to her mother again wanting to say those three words. She called out, “Mother,” and her mother answered, “What is it, Hun?” She said she was going to say it, but instead she said, “You have to come back and visit us again.” Her mother opened the front gate and walked towards the car, just right before her mother got into the passenger seat, she called out again, “Mother!” Mother answered, “Yes, hun?” “you have to visit again, Ma!” Her mother got into the car and left for home. A month later, she recieved a phone call from her uncle saying that her mother passed away.

She expressed her feelings saying that it hurts when you can’t say three simple words to someone that loves you the most out of anybody. She had few tears here and there when she was sharing her story. Even some of the daughters at the table had tears. I felt sorry for her, but not enough to have tears. I seemed cruel since everyone seemed to have teary eyes when i looked around. Anyways, she expressed her feelings and told us “If you have not said, “I love you” to your mother, you have to do so before it’s too late. It may seem hard, but once you get those three words out the first time, the second time will be nothing.”

Like i said, this story really got me thinking and really got me concern. Would i be able to say, ” I Love You, Mother,” to my very own mother? Like mentioned above, it’s hard to express feelings towards your own parents when you’re hmong. I met her at the line when we were getting food and said that her story was very meaningful and that it really touched me, but i wasn’t too sure if i was able to say those three words. She said to me, “It really takes practice, and you have to really mean it too.” Seriously though, i don’t think i’m able to say those three words to my very own old lady. As much as I love her, I don’t have the courage to say it. Not that i dont’ want too, but i dont’ have the guts to tell her those three words. for one thing, not sure how she’s going to take it and how it’ll turn out. *sigh*

How would you deal with this? Have you done it before? Say those three words directly to your old lady?

I need thoughts. I’m 21, turning 22, and gah…. I dont’ know.

I mentioned to the lady that probably when i get marry, i’ll have the guts to do it, but as of now, i’m not too sure of anything… *sigh*…I stll think my old lady is the best though! Although sometimes i can so disagree with her, but she is my old lady, and that’s why i love her. 😀